


An Ode To My Sister's Ass

by traceExcalibur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-09 15:58:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traceExcalibur/pseuds/traceExcalibur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>TG: ok so<br/>TG: incest really isnt that bad if you arent poppin out any babies right</p>
</blockquote>Rose and Dave are two horny teenagers stuck in a Freudian clusterfuck on a rock in the middle of nowhere without any condoms, so what are they to do about it? Dave's answer: anal. Written for an ages-old prompt <a href="http://homesmut.livejournal.com/15949.html?thread=32858445#t32858445">on the kink meme</a>.
            </blockquote>





	An Ode To My Sister's Ass

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't emulate any of the behaviour found in this fic. Teenagers probably shouldn't be experimenting with anal sex and definitely shouldn't be engaging in incestuous relationships.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: ok so

TG: incest really isnt that bad if you arent poppin out any babies right

TT: That’s an interesting way to start a conversation.

TG: look hear me out here

TG: were stuck on this meteor for another year or so right

TG: our bodies are siccin some mad hormones on us

TG: and we are surrounded by aliens with god knows what in their pants

TG: dont even tell me whats in them im sure you already investigated kanayas anatomy very thoroughly

TT: I will neither confirm or deny that statement.

TG: yeah exactly

TG: point is

TG: we are going to be bubbling over with whack urges and shit like that

TG: and yes ok i think youre hot

TG: that probably was obvious after last week if not

TG: like

TG: always

TG: so there it is on the table

TG: happy???

TG: you and freud can go high five each other after a night of rough sex

TG: speaking of rough sex

TG: do you see where im going with this

TT: You’re sending me these messages over Pesterchum because it would fluster you too much to discuss the matter in person, aren’t you?

TG: what

TG: no

TG: its just more convenient this way

TT: I’m only one room away, Dave.

TG: …

TG: shut up

TT: Okay.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] –

TG: no dammit i didnt mean

TG: ok fuck you too

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] –

TT: I know you want to.

TT: ;)

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] –

TG: …

TG: goddammit rose

 

Though it was only a room away, the trek from his room to the lab-turned-study was unbearably long; Dave was not looking forward to this confrontation with Rose. She alone seemed to have the ability to fluster him, to break down the chill demeanour that he spent so many years building up. She was at all times his closest friend, his mortal foe, rival sibling, and...as much as he loathed to admit it, the apple of his eye. Or, at least, his dick's eye.

He had been determined to resist her weird and vaguely unnerving sort of charm, but just a week ago, a heated conversation had somehow turned into a heated kiss, and since then they had been seeing more and more of each other...literally. The mere sight of her naked body could not assuage his sexual desire, though, and the vixen clearly knew that. She was playing him like a violin and loving every goddamned minute of it.

Fine, then. If she was so determined to mire him in her incestuous honeypot, he was going to dive in cock-first.

He stepped onto the transportalizer and with a hiss and pop he was standing in the study. Rose was curled up with a book in her favourite chair, and when he arrived she turned her gaze to him and regarded him with some fusion of amusement and curiosity.

“So you've come, presumably to discuss your sudden change of heart. Wasn't it only a week ago that you were dead set against even standing beside me for fear of contamination? Yet here we are, and you want to fuck.”

Of course she was going to make this hard on him. “Yes,” he said with as straight a face as he could manage. “I do.”

“I find it funny how fast a man's opinions will change the moment his loins demand it of him. Just a few kisses scattered throughout the week and suddenly you want us to be each other’s baby mommy daddy babies?”

“What? Ok, no, see, that’s exactly what I don’t want. And it wasn’t a few kisses, it was like, tonsil territory. Sloppy bro/sis makeouts of the illest degree.”

“I’ll concede that it was very passionate. Lips to sloppy lips, bodies intertwined in forbidden embrace, lust draped over us like shining golden vines, filched from Babel’s wondrous gardens. Also, I could feel your boner against my leg.”

“Right, ok, see?” Dave pressed on, ignoring (at least, trying to ignore) Rose’s attempts to fluster him. “It was totally passionate and sexy, and…I mean, let’s face it. The Strider goods are pretty much irresistible. I don’t blame you for getting the hots for me, and, well, uh, you’re not half bad yourself.”

“Thank you. I do try my best to look appealing, especially when I can reap such a ripe, incestuous fruit with my offerings.”

“Ok, you’re determined to make this as gross as you can for me, aren’t you?”

“Is it working?” Rose’s smile was haughty as ever and she reclined back in her chair in the most calculatedly casual way possible. She was clearly enjoying making Dave squirm. He would have found it sickening if it wasn’t so goddamned hot.

“Look, I am trying to proposition you here, I think it is the ladylike thing to do to listen to me instead of trying to get your psychoanalytical bullshit all up on my dick.”

“It’s the ladylike thing for me to get something else all up on your dick, clearly.”

“See now we’re talking the same language.” Dave sighed and looked up at the ceiling for a while, collecting his thoughts. When his gaze drifted back down, it rested on Rose’s stomach. “But as I was going on about earlier, we don’t want to end up with some freaky no-ecto incest babies. That shit would just be all kinds of bad news, not to mention a big fuckin’ hassle to raise in the midst of crazy aliens on a stark-ass meteor.”

“It appears that puberty has not blessed you with paternal instincts.”

“Look, all I’m sayin’ is, we leave our kid alone for, like, five seconds – our kid who might have weirdo incest genes, that is – and the clown is probably going to warp in out of fuckin’ horrorspace and steal him away, never to be seen again. Is that a risk you’re willing to take with a life, Lalonde?”

“No, it is not. Your eagerness to explore this subject with me implies, however, that abstinence is the least palatable option on the table for you. Coitus, paramount. The question then, is, what contraceptive method do you plan on executing?”

“Well, here’s the thing. Far as I can tell there aren’t any condoms or other shit on this meteor. We’ve got nothin’ to cockblock the sperm without cockblockin’…uh, my cock. So the other option is…” Dave made a very tight circle with one hand, and dipped a finger in and out of it. “…we use a different hole.”

Rose raised her eyebrow. “You want to try anal.” she deadpanned. “Your first sexual experience – one with a woman whose genes you share – and you want to stick it in her ass. Which is to say, _my_ ass.”

Dave nodded.

“Well then, I suppose there is only one answer available to me…”

Please say yes, say yes, come on Rose say yes…

“No.”

Fuck.

“Why not? We’ve got the hots, I know you want to do it, so do I…”

“Losing my virginity through sodomy is not exactly high on my ‘bucket list’. I would much prefer a more…natural encounter.”

“But this is all we’ve got, I literally just explained—“

“Dave, please. It is leagues beyond obvious to me, having known you for so long, that the concern about a potential pregnancy is only tangential to your cause. Surely we could work around that. You are just afraid to admit to yourself – and to me – that anal intercourse is more preferential to you than vaginal.”

“What, no, I’m just totally concerned about you and the unborn baby we shouldn’t be having, is that too hard to believe?”

Rose shot him a knowing glance – one that felt to Dave like it was communicating a thousand infuriating Freudian diagnoses with a single glint of light reflected off her eye– and strolled out of the room. Dave sighed and resolved to try again later. Surely he was smooth enough to talk some sense into her.

…right?

 

* * *

 

“So when are you gonna relent and let me bang you?” With Rose's hand down his pants and her lips at his neck, Dave figured it was as good a time as any to ask again.

It had been a week since Dave first brought up the prospect and every time he questioned her he was met with the same answer: no. It mattered not when he asked, nor how heated their relationship was; he had tried when they were making out, when she was giving him a blowjob, even when she was moaning his fuckin' name during orgasm, and _still_ she was determined not to let him go any further than hands and tongue.

Worst of all was the smirk she wore on her face every time she said “no”, because he _knew_ it meant that her only goal was to infuriate him. She was no pure and chaste maiden. She was just an annoying asshole who was annoyingly hot and annoyingly determined to make his life a living hell, even during sex.

“What's the matter, brother, do my handjobs dissatisfy you?” Rose’s fingers curled lightly around him, stroking his shaft languidly. His boner felt ready to burst out of his pants like an alien, and he wasn’t dissatisfied in the least, but…he still wanted more.

“Come on, handjobs are like the free samples of the banging world and you know it.”

Rose sighed. “If I consent to take part in this anal fantasy of yours, will it shut you up for once?”

“Duh.”

“I suppose at some point I must acquiesce. You will not relent, and if our sexual relationship is to progress at all, I will be forced to concede. But we can't simply dive right into it. There are preparations to be made. I will expect you to treat me with the utmost delicacy. We will need to ensure we proceed safely. Infection is a dangerous possibility.”

Dave quirked an eyebrow. “How do you know all this shit, anyway?”

“Research, Dave. Something you've probably never done in your life.”

“You researched buttfucking? And you're sure you haven't been writing porn about gay old wizards?”

“Moving on,” Rose said, sharply, “You also realize, of course, that this will further invite me to make your life into a Freudian nightmare? At any moment I am liable to analyze the twists and turns in your mind that have brought you to this point. Even immediately upon orgasm, during the coital afterglow, I will hound your brain for information – provided, of course, that you do not simply fall asleep.”

“I had a tormented childhood, everything is dicks, I've got the hots for all my fuckin' female relatives. We've been over this, I've got this shit down, and at this point I don't give a damn.”

“Fine,” Rose sighed. “Let's just get this over with.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Dave glanced at the piles of broken robots that littered the ground of what had once been Equius' room. Oil dripped from the walls, cracked and worn teapots were strewn about, wrenches and wires were laid out on the floor, ready to trip them up. It was a total mess, and an uninviting room, but...

“Yes, I'm sure.” Rose said, poring through a cabinet. “Do you doubt that this is the most likely place to find lubricant on this meteor?”

“I bet you this place is dripping with lube, but it sure as hell ain't a comfortable place to go looking...” Dave heard a crunch below him and looked down to find a glassy robotic eye, shattered beneath his feet. “Ugh, why'd he have to go with the creepy, blank red...”

Dave's eyes flicked over to his sister, and she was bending over to inspect something on the other side of the room. Knowing he was close to his goal, he willed himself to stay focused. Surely there was workable lube somewhere in the room. He swung his head around but spotted nothing, seeing only weird robots or stacks of towels or...eurgh, hideous posters.

Dave stopped dead in his tracks, staring at one of the pieces plastered on the wall. Supposed 'fine art', it depicted a giant bodybuilder-horse hybrid with a massive, throbbing... “Holy shit, look at the size of that thing.”

“Which?” Rose responded, “The musclebeast's manhood, or your own after seeing it?”

“Your _mom's_ manhood.”

“ _Our_ mom's manhood, you mean.”

“...just keep looking.”

Dave pressed onwards, opening cabinets and toolboxes, finding plenty of oils and other mechanical lubricants, but nothing suited more for sex. One flowery box was full of tea bags, and the labels had all been scrawled on in green marker, giving them names like 'cameowmile' and 'purrl grey'. Another box contained a set of '100% natural grub-based paints'. Still, he could find no lube...nothing, nothing...wait.

Dave spied a box that looked like it had been hastily shoved into the back of one of the closets. It was completely nondescript and unassuming, but with a lock attached to it. He laid it out on a counter and broke it open with the butt of his sword, opened it up, and...

oh _GOD_

WHY WOULD HE KEEP

THESE ARE

NO

NO

_NO_

wait there's some lube right there beside thaOH GOD NO

Dave quickly pulled out the lube and slammed the box shut, throwing it as far away from himself as he could. The contents of the box would haunt Dave's memories for the rest of his life, but on the plus side, he was one step closer to Rose's ass.

“Yo, I found some lube.” Dave called; there was no response. “Rose?”

Something clicked and whinnied; Dave heard Rose shriek behind him and he quickly whirled around, materializing the Royal Deringer from his strife specibus. He rushed to her defense, but found her unharmed. One of Equius' robots had sprung to life, and she was staring at it, shocked. It was a massive robotic horse with flaming red eyes and a huge, whirring, equine dong beneath it. The mere thought of someone putting it to use was enough to make Dave feel sick to his stomach.

“Sweet fucking jesus, this guy is demented...look, I found a bottle of lube that looks like it'll work, so let's just forget the crazy horsedick-bots and blow this joint.”

Rose nodded assent, shaking slightly, and followed him out. As they made for the exit, she glanced behind her shoulder and took one last look at the still-vibrating horse.

“You aren't thinking of using that thing, are you?” Dave asked.

The ghost of a mischievous grin flicked across her face, and she paused for _far_ too long to consider it before finally giving him a noncommittal shrug and saying, “I guess not.”

...goddammit, Rose.

 

* * *

 

Rose's sunny garb hit the floor with a rather flat _whump,_ followed shortly by a pair of lacy orange panties. “I'm not surprised that the game provided even these with my Seer's dress,” Rose mused, as she positioned herself against the back of her favourite study chair. Dave's own clothes were gone in a flash, the bottle of lubricant in his hands.

“So how does this stuff work, anyway? I just slather this shit all over the place like some kind of perv lotion? And I bet I'll have to use 'liberal' amounts too. Lotions and shampoos and all those things just love liberals, it's like there's no such thing as a conservative lotion...”

“You're rambling again, Dave.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dave squeezed down on the bottle and squirted dollops of lube into his hand, spreading it over his erection and between Rose's cheeks. Soon they were both coated with the lubricant, slippery as all hell and hopefully prepared for sex. Dave placed his hands on Rose's hips and positioned himself behind her.

“Are you ready?” Dave asked. His heart was pounding, his dick nestled comfortably between her two round cheeks as though they were top-quality plush. It took all his self-control to keep himself from finally sinking into her.

“As I’ll ever be.” was the response.

He paused for a moment. “…ok, are you excited?”

“After all we’ve been through,” Rose began, “I feel the answer could be nothing short of…meh.”

Dave was thankful to be behind her, so she couldn’t see his face deflate. “Why are you so hellbent on making this experience a fuckin’ nightmare bubble for me, don’t you give a shit about this?”

Rose smirked. “It eases the boredom. Now, please be gentle, my dearest David.”

“Fuckin’ finally.”

The lube did its trick with gusto – Dave found himself slipping and sliding around before his tip found what it was looking for. He pushed forwards and slipped through the tight, puckered opening. Rose was warm and slick and she had him in a chokehold; even with the lube it was almost unbearably tight, and he forced himself to press forwards, inch by inch, slowly filling her out. Rose sucked air through gritted teeth, wincing and grunting as he worked his way forwards, until his hips finally pressed against her, and her walls were wrapped around his entire length.

“That…was not as bad as I expected.” Rose managed between heavy breaths. “Very tight, somewhat uncomfortable, but…not so painful. I must remember to thank Equius the next time our flight passes through a relevant bubble.”

“Oh, yeah, that’ll be a real wild conversation: ‘Hey, Equius, thanks for helping me bang my sister’s ass.’.”

“Well, you _are_ thankful, aren’t you?”

Dave grunted assent. “…can I start now?”

“So long as your touch remains gentle and soft as a smuppet.”

Dave’s hands slipped up along her sides and found a prime resting spot, and he began to move. Slow, almost agonizingly slow movements, dragging himself out through the tightness, and then pressing back in just as slowly. Rose hissed breaths with every movement but she didn’t seem to be hurt. It encouraged him to take her more freely, his pace increasing until he was comfortable, and she was just starting to wince again. He leaned in to plant sloppy, inexperienced kisses and nips on the back of her neck. His arms slid further upwards, curling around the subtle curves of her breasts, fingers rubbing against the nipples. Rose stifled a gasp, hoping, he suspected, to seem indifferent to him. It was a futile attempt. From the rocky peaks of her breasts to the way she shivered when he moved and the way she was relaxing and giving herself to him, it was clear that warm arousal was seeping through her. He drove himself deep inside her and began to grind against her, small, sharp bursts that had her arms splayed out against the chair as she panted and plead for breath. He leaned in close to kiss her neck once more and found her eyes closed, and her tongue lolling out.

“ _Now_ are you excited?”

“It’s…a natural response to the stimulation,” she choked out between shuddered gasps. “And I would…feel more fulfilled if you were to focus your attention on my – ahh...! – my…womanhood.”

Dave groaned. “Do you really gotta use words like 'womanhood' in the middle of something like this?”

“Of course I do.”

“...yeah, ok, whatever. I just hope your 'womanhood' can handle me.”

Slowing his grinding almost to a halt, Dave let a hand slip from her breast down between her legs and found her dripping wet. His fingers darted up and down along her lips until he found a curious little bump above them, and gave it a quick, hard tap. Rose made an odd, sharp gasp and gritted her teeth, legs quivering.

“T-that was my clitoris, Dave, and it does not…respond kindly to abuse.”

He met the nub again, this time running his finger gently over it, and through Rose’s quaking body and pleasured moan he knew that it was a success. His hand sank lower and he was easily able to slip a finger through her folds to probe her, gauging her warmth and wetness. Another finger joined the first and he began to pump them inside her, and as he did so he began to pump his hips as well. His thumb stretched upwards and he tried, best as he could, to roll it gently over her clit as he worked at her, and his other hand resumed cupping her breast and teasing the nipple. Rose moaned again and again, very vocal between her gasps for air, and Dave suspected she was close to the edge.

“How’s it feel, sis?”

Rose was silent for a while, before squeezing her eyes shut and managing one word: “H-harder…”

Mission fuckin’ successful.

Dave began bucking his hips against her, sliding smoothly in and out. Pushed up against the chair she had nowhere to go and nothing to do but let him take her, and take her he did: his fingers darted about inside her, curling around, stroking her walls as his thumb rolled over her clit. He crashed into her again and again, and each time her voice got a little higher, her body splayed out further against the chair, her hair more mussed up and her eyes unfocused. She gasped and moaned, legs shaking and weak, and finally with a breathy whimper she reached orgasm, tightening around him, body quivering.

“Keep going?” Dave asked, slamming against her as though nothing had happened. She nodded frantically.

“Fuck...f-fuuuck...” Rose grunted, without an ounce of composure. Her hair was ruffled and messy, headband slipping down her forehead; her body was weak and she shook with his every thrust, her knees threatening to buckle beneath her. Little beads of sweat dotted her trembling body, trailing down her legs alongside little rivulets of lube and precum. “Too much...can't stand...”

“Got you covered,” Dave said, pulling out and manoeuvring her to the side of the chair. She draped herself over it immediately, her ass sticking up and her legs trailing out uselessly on the floor. She pressed her face against the chair's throw cushion and sighed.

“Ah, this position is...much more suitable...” Rose wiggled her hips and pushed herself down further into the chair. “As you were, then.”

Dave positioned himself and let his hips slam down, slumping over her and filling her out. He started bucking his hips immediately; she groaned into the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut, but nodded as if to say, 'please continue'. Dave was more than happy to oblige - her body was hot, her ass squeezing down on his cock, walls caressing it as he pushed in and out. He could feel heat and need bubbling through him, and knew he was close to the edge...he didn't want to stop now, didn't want it to be over so quick, and being honest with himself, he wanted to drive Rose even wilder, make her pay for toying with him for so long...

But neither his mind nor his hips would let him. They bucked and pumped of their own accord, they willed him to remain bent over her, thrusting quick as he could. Rose clamped down on him and he boiled over, heat and wetness surging through his cock and spurting from the tip. His mind seized up, his body gave into orgasm, and still he could not stop thrusting...his hips crashed against her, over and over, cock emptying wave after sticky wave inside her 'til it was completely spent, and _still_ he could not relent, not stop thrusting, not until his last ounce of energy was gone and he finally slumped over her. They drew ragged, gasping breaths in unison, chests heaving, cum and sweat dripping down their legs.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, Rose spoke: “Now, d...do you believe that your mother and sister issues may be rooted in your upbringing by a single...very masculine brother, and father figure...?”

...god _damn_ it, Rose.

 

* * *

 

Luckily for Dave, the psychoanalysis was postponed; their post-coital conversation was interrupted by a sudden venture into another dream bubble. They were forced to dash off and clean up to avoid being thrust nakedly into a ghostly memory. It wasn't until the next day that Dave saw her again. She was sitting in her chair – which had been cleansed of all stains before someone like Karkat could notice it and get suspicious – and reading one of her many novels. Dave made sure to wear his best and most douchey smirk before approaching her.

“So much for 'meh', huh?” he asked as he sidled beside her.

Rose flipped a page, seemingly bored of the conversation already. “I'm afraid I haven't the slightest idea what you mean.”

“Oh, come off it, you know exactly what I mean. You were head over heels last night – or face into couch, whatever – and totally enjoying yourself. You lied when you said you weren't interested, admit it.”

“Did I?” she asked, snapping the book shut and standing to face him. “Are you certain? I don't remember anything of the sort, and I would like to believe I've a stellar memory.”

“Don't remember? You...I...”

Rose leaned in closer, grinning mischievously. “How are you to be sure that you didn't just imagine my responses? Perhaps, with the heat of lust clouding your mind, you convinced yourself that I too was driven out of my mind with passion. Who's to say?”

“Wha—no, no no no, that...” Dave spluttered, lost for words. Come _on_ , get it together, bro! “I...you...look, you were totally into my dong there, don't even try to--”

Rose cut him off with a quick kiss and a wink. “Let's chalk this up to another victory for your good pal, Sigmund Freud.”

And with that, she was gone.


End file.
